How managers can have better wellbeing conversations

Managers are often the first to notice when someone is struggling — and often the least sure what to say. A good wellbeing conversation doesn't require clinical expertise. It requires attention, care and a few practical habits.

1. Notice changes

Look for shifts rather than single moments: someone who is usually engaged becoming withdrawn, quality slipping, more irritability, late nights becoming the norm. Change is the signal.

2. Choose the moment

Find a private, unhurried time. Avoid starting a wellbeing conversation at the end of a tense meeting or over a quick message.

3. Ask openly — and twice

"How are you doing?" invites "Fine." Try something more specific: "I've noticed you've seemed stretched lately. How are things really?" If the first answer is brief, gently ask again.

4. Listen more than you fix

Resist the urge to solve immediately. Reflect back what you've heard. Let silence do some work.

5. Look at the work, too

Ask about workload, priorities and support. Sometimes the most helpful thing a manager can do is change something about the job — not the person.

6. Know where support sits

You're not expected to carry everything. Know what's available — an Employee Assistance Programme, HR, external support — and how to point someone towards it.

7. Follow up

A short check-in a few days later shows the conversation mattered.

Look after yourself

Supporting others is demanding. Manager wellbeing matters too — and organisations that invest in it tend to see better conversations everywhere.